Beautiful Terrific Vision

A week ago, I was at one of the classes I am presently taking through my parish. Of course, all the classes ultimately revolve around spiritually: growing spiritually, tending your relationship with God; deepening your prayer life.

On Monday evening, for our closing prayer, Deacon Les lead us in a meditative prayer. Now, I am very familiar with this type of prayer; not only have I done this type of prayer before, but I taught it to every CCD class I had in over 20 years of teaching. If you have never experienced this type of prayer, a brief explanation will help: in directed meditation prayer, you place yourself in a relaxed, comfortable state, and (preferably with eyes closed), let the spoken prompts of the leader bring you to a place where you can have an experience of personally meeting with God.

Monday’s directed meditation had us envision ourselves sleeping… and the Blessed Virgin Mary came in, gently woke me, and brought me from my bedroom to a different room where both the Son and the Father awaited us. As I entered the room, I felt the warmth, saw the light, and knew I was in their presence. They were sitting at our kitchen table, I could see our table and chairs, but the rest of the room was not as much out of focus as not there; it was like being inside a cloud.

And then, suddenly, in the back, there was Nick, jumping up and down, waving, and saying, “Hey, I’m fine; I’m here; I’m waiting for you. Hey, I’m fine; I’m here; I’m waiting for you.” I could not see him clearly; I can’t say that it was specifically his voice, but I knew who I was seeing; who I was hearing. Then he was gone, and my attention was drawn to Jesus, who held me, confirmed the message I had been given, and that I was always held in love.

Part of me wants to yell this from the roof tops; part of me wants to keep this a secret. I know that I am reluctant to share this, because I don’t want to hear the negativity from the people who don’t believe. But I know I was given a small miracle that day. I wasn’t given a message I expected, but I was given a message that gave me peace, that took away fears I had not verbalized even to myself.

The one thing I know for sure about heaven is that is a place of perfect happiness. I always believed the Beatific Vision is enough for perfect happiness. But I would be more perfectly happy if I were seeing it while holding Nick’s hand.